4th April 2009

We asked you for your cringe-worthy tales. We didn’t know quite what we were letting ourselves in for you crazy minxes. Gadzooks! Here are a few of the bestiest. Or should that be worstiest?

Poo in the Loo
I’m 13 and this is my embarrassing story….It was new years eve and me and my dad went to the cinema to watch St.Trinians. We were late and i needed to go to the toilet to have a poo, so dad told me that he’ll wait outside the toilets and told me to be quick. I was the only person in there so i went into the cubicle knowing that if i made a big splash no one will hear. After a while most of the poo came out, But there was a little bit that just wouldn’t come out. Then someone came into the cubicle next to mine. I was wiggling my bum to try and make it come out and then it just flew out! I didn’t know where it went..it wasn’t in the Toilet it’s self. I looked around and then i saw it…on the other side of my cublicle…on the other persons side! My poo!!!Then she saw it! And she said, ‘‘What’s tha…AAAHHHHH.’‘ Oh God! i waited untill she left and qucikly left the cubilcle, washed my hands and left the toilets. There was dad he asked my why i took so long and i just told him i had girl problems! i’d never tell him what really happened! How embarrassing!

Mud and Mum
Did you ever have one of those days when you just knew nothing was going to go right? Well, yesterday was one of those days.
As if being woken at six thirty wasn’t bad enough, added to that was the humiliation of having to trudge out into the sleet to freeze my bottom off charging around a deserted – thank God – stretch of wood.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family. Admittedly, they drive me blooming loopy, but they’re unnaturally normal as families go. Firstly Dad – not one of these ‘I’m-going-to-make-the-most-of-my-time-and-embarrass-you-beyond-repair’ kind of fathers, but on the other hand he isn’t so completely detached that he won’t lend me the odd tenner now and then.
My mum isn’t so bad – if you remove the fact that she knows every guy I ever have a hope with … weird, I know. And in all truth, my sisters can be pretty awesome…
Anyway, back to the point. We’d waded through about a mile of mud – I was managing to look pretty glamorous, if I say so myself – when we came out on the main road in our village. And there, right ahead of me, was my ex-boyfriend and his new little chump, coming out of his house.
So there’s me, covered in mud and goodness knows what else – honestly, it was practically seeping through to my knickers – when a thought struck me – maybe I didn’t look so bad. Just kind of elegantly in-tune with nature. So I smiled in a sophisticated manner at them, and made to saunter on by.
Then my mother had to go and ruin it, by yelling out, “Hi, J——! Is your mum home? Looks like N——- here could use some clean pants and trousers!”

I texted my Mum instead of my sex god
I had had a very romantic evening in with my sex god and it was so lovely. Afterwards, i wanted to thank him when he left, so i texted him. “hello my hunny bunnny, i already miss you soooo much. It was very snuggly and i loved your cute, handsome face through the candle lite room. You mean more to me than my own mother and you are sooo lurvely i could snog your face off all evening. Anyway i’m going to snuggle up to this photo of you tonight so nighty night my gorgey pickle bum. I love you with all my heart. xxx binxi xxx”.
Then i clicked ‘send to’ (through blurry, tired eyes rather quickly).
(I put my mum under ‘AA mum’ so it appears 1st in my contacts list and ‘ABA K—-’ ((k—=k—— my sex god)) so he is second on my list).
Yes, i accidentally sent it to my MUM without realising. It was only when she came in saying “shnuggle bunny”, “snog your face off”, “wheres the photo then” and “i best mean more than he does” when i realised i should change the order of my contacts.
That’s my best embarrassing story i have suffered through…yet!