2008 has been a pretty marvy year for you: Angus, thongs and full-frontal snogging hit the big screen, Stop in the name of pants! got to number one in the charts AND you were crowned Queen of Teen at a pinkalicious awards ceremony! What’s been your fave highlight?

OOooo-er. Going to the premiere of the movie at Leicester Square was a hoot and a half.
Even though I had to walk down the red carpet twice so that someone would recognise me!! There were some groovy girls from Brighton there and they yelled, “Oi, Lou it’s us, we’ve come up to London for the day because we luuurve you.”

I went over to them all sort of puffed up with myself. I was saying, “Oh I luuurve you too.”
Smiling at the cameras etc and then they all said, “Do you know Aaron who plays Robbie?” And I said, “Yep.”
And one of them said, “Well will you go and get him for us?”

CatAnd I realised that they were using me like a using thing to get boys for them. Incidentally, The Stiff Dylans are vair vair cheeky boys who do not respect my geniosity. Or anything about me actually. I’m going to a gig of theirs this weekend and I expect they will say cheeky rude things to me which I will try to overlook. As you know as well as being famous for my geniosity, talent, je ne sais quoi and so on, I am also very nearly Baby Jesus in a frock.

PS I did luuurve being No 1 with “Stop in the name of pants”, there is nothing to my mind more grown up than seeing ‘Pants’ in a best selling list. I hope it is on every school reading list if only so that all girls can be given the benefit of learning the Viking disco inferno dance.

Also PPS I would like to thank all of you little minxes who voted me Queen of Teen. I luuurve my crown and wear it rather too much. I would like some shoes to go with it, so maybe next year I could be voted er… Queen of Cobblers? Or something, what do you think…anyway I luuurve all of you who voted for me and you are all clearly genii. And full of fabulosity and umph. That is le fact.

PPPS I have my crown on my TV set. I made the mistake of wearing it to my local Italian restaurant and I didn’t see it for hours because all the waiters were trying it on. Which was a bit of a worry to be frank. But that is the Pizza-a-gogo folk for you.

You’re the unofficial patron saint of Scottish wild cats, the brethren of Angus. But are they really as crazy as he is? Have you got any pics of the original Angus?

Scottish Wildcat AssociationI know, I know, I am the Queen of Wild Kittykats. I’ve just been up to Och Aye land with my friend ‘Scottish Jo’ and we went to the nature reserve where they are trying to look after the Scottish wildcats and breed them up a bit. We were allowed to go in with the kittens which were born a few months ago. Just like Angus, they practically had my hand off when I held a rabbit leg out to them. But that is their great charm, bonkerosity and naked violence. I love them, I love them.

I am showing you the pics I took up in Och Aye land of the vicious beasts… er I mean lovely, lovely endangered kittykats. Please let us save them there are only 400 left and they have been in Och Aye land for thousands of years. (Not the ones in the pictures you petit idiots.) The bestiest news is that they are probably Vikings. They came from the North of Europe to Scotland and I am just guessing, but I bet they wore little horned helmets as they paddled across to our land. Or were we all joined up then? I don’t know… what is this? A geography test??? Anyway, even if we were joined up and they didn’t have to come here in little cat boats, I bet they wore horned helmets just for a laugh.

Lots of your characters are based on real people (oo-er, does that mean the Sex God is out there somewhere? Mmmmm.) Do you know where they are now? Have they read your books?

Sadly quite a few of my so called friends have read the books and they have not been a hundred percent flattering. Jas in particular says I exaggerate her fringe, but quite frankly, she is wrong and if anything I have made it less annoying than it actually was. Ditto her owls. Rosie on the other hand is quite helpful, she helps me remember stuff. It was her who reminded me that when we went on a school trip to the Lake District on an old fashioned slam door train, Herr Kamyer leapt to his feet and said, “Ach here ve are girls,” and opened the door on the wrong side of the train and disappeared out of it, on to the track. Happy happy days.

What do you like to do when you’re not writing The Fab Confessions?

Dance about like a fool mostly. And talk wubbish on the phone to my mates. And tease boys.

We can’t wait to find out what will happen in the mysterious book 10! Can you give us the teensiest clue of what’s in store for Georgia and the Ace Gang?

No.
Oh go on then, you cheeky minxes. A major clue would be ‘so many boys, so little time’! Other highlights are ‘return of glove animal’ and…. oh yes, the school production of “Rom and Jule” with Jas as Juliet (yes I am serious, and sadly so is she) and Wet Lindsay as Rom. Oh yes. Snogging action of the lezzie kind. As usual sad blokes in tights will be involved and Dave the Laugh has an extraordinary outburst (oo-er)…